You’ve heard lots about Japanese toilets. But are bidets more sanitary? You bet your butt they are. Here’s why every man should own one.
Only a few years ago, it seemed like bidets were something people didn’t talk about. Sure, the Japanese had them, but that was about it. Perhaps you saw one once in Europe and had a giggle.
Nowadays, bidets are no laughing matter. Between toilet paper shortages, hygiene, and people looking to save money on their water bill with an environmentally-friendly toilet, Japanese bidet toilets aren’t enjoying a revolution like never before.
I can honestly say, my Toto toilet is the single greatest appliance I have ever purchased. No joke. Once you go bidet, you never go back.
In fact, I would say if there is just one single thing you do to improve your personal hygiene, get a bidet. Frankly, the time for joking is over. There’s no good reason we aren’t all using them.
But here are the main reasons why bidets are better than toilets, and every man should have one.
Are bidets more hygienic than toilet paper?
Yes. Let’s just come right out and say it. Bidets are cleaner for your bum. Much cleaner.
No, you won’t find studies on this. (Do they even exist?) It’s just common sense. How could they not be more sanitary?
Think about it. Trying to clean your rear without water is like trying to clean chocolate ice cream off the kitchen floor without a mop. You can wipe and wipe, but you’ll always leave a mark.
With bidet toilets you don’t have that problem. The jet of water flows up your backside, ensuring you are as clean as possible.
Now, it’s a common misconception that having a bidet means you no longer need toilet paper. This is false! You still need toilet paper, without question.
But when you wipe, there is very little left, so you don’t need to use nearly as much. In fact, between less toilet paper and reduced water bills, over time bidets pay for themselves!
How does the water jet work?
Okay, look. I’ll level with you guys. The first time water shoots up your backside is a very odd feeling indeed. Your first instinct is to clam up your anus like it’s a vault at the bank! Water jets feel weird at first, then very nice
But the fact is, you’ll get used to it rather quickly. And there are ways to mitigate the odd feeling. By choosing your water speeds and selecting between either a steady stream of water or oscillation, you can find what feels right for you, and ease your way into the experience.
Butt now, it’s time to tell you about what is arguably the best thing bidets have to offer…
What about the heated seats?
The heated toilet seat is probably the most underrated part of owning a bidet.
Let’s face it: Sitting down on a cold toilet seat in the morning is no way to start your day. In fact, it’s one of the most depressing things in the world.
But not with bidets. Along with adjusting the seat temperature, many models allow you to adjust when the seat warms up. While most models begin warming as soon as you sit down, advanced smart models use data to learn what time of day you most commonly use the toilet, and actually pre-warm the seat before your arrival!
And let me tell you: As soon as you sit down and feel that beautiful warm heated plastic on your rear end, my God. You’re immediately in a good mood for the rest of the day.
And why shouldn’t you be? We spend 3% of our lives sitting on the John. You owe it to yourself to make that time as pleasurable as possible.
Are bidets self-cleaning?
Yes. One of the little-known facts about bidets is that they are self-cleaning. That’s right, they don’t just clean your bum, they clean themselves.
They do this by “misting” the bowl before you release your waste. Modern bidets with motion sensors spray a fine mist of water over the inside of the bowl as soon as you approach. This thin film of water prevents solids from sticking to the side of the bowl. No unsanitary toilet scrubbing for you!
Are bidets self-drying?
Sort of. I’ll be honest, this feature is widely touted, but I don’t find it all that helpful, useful, or even comfortable.
The idea is nice enough. A button on the remote which blows hot air all over your rear. It’s just like a car wash. Come in dirty, rinse, and dry. Who wouldn’t like that?
But the reality is far different. First of all, the air doesn’t usually shoot out that fast. On my Toto, the “hot” setting was extremely hot…way beyond comfort. And there’s a faint but noticeable plastic-y smell that doesn’t seem to ever go away.
But the worst part is, it just flat-out doesn’t do much! The fact is, you need a lot of airpower to dry your bum, and most bidets don’t blast enough to make any difference. You’ll need toilet paper either way. So while the self-drying can be a pleasant way to finish your business, think of it more as a nice touch, not a sanitary measure.